Excerpt from Public Speaking Workshop on Day 3:

“It is well-known that crossing Vietnam’s streets may be construed as a moderately risky endeavor that necessitates a great deal of preparation and constant vigilance in order to avoid unfortunate and undesired collisions between motorbikes the person crossing the road. In order to achieve this effect, it becomes important for the person crossing the road to always ensure that both sides of the road are relatively clear of oncoming traffic before beginning to cross, as failure to do so may result in a state of surprise at the emergence of various vehicles from blind spots, side alleys and opposite roads.”
Delivered in an excruciatingly boring monotone by Stephanie

“Urm… so… yeah. Crossing the street in Vietnam. Like, don’t get distracted by things, like, dresses. Speaking of which, there was this totally sweet dress I saw the other day! It had pink polka dots and this frilly flower design, like, omigawd! So, yeah, like, you gotta, like, be careful, because, like, when you’re careful, you’re like, safe. Yeah.”
No additional stage directions needed; delivered by Selena.

“The third thing to remember when crossing the streets of Vietnam is to never leave home without your suit of armor. Some people might call that extreme, but it makes sense when you think about it. The human body is depressingly soft and squishy; motorbikes are infamously hard and metallic. In order to give your squishy human body a fighting chance at crossing the street, without getting smooshed by the five million motorbikes zooming around, it is utterly necessary that you put on that suit of armor to put you on par with the motorbikes.”
Not to be taken seriously unless extremely eccentric; delivered by Ben Lo

– Ben Lo